Friday, 31 July 2015


I was right about the hiatus in the downward trend in my weight as the scales claimed I was nearly 3lbs heavier today than yesterday. This is why I weigh daily (when I'm feeling motivated) - if I'd seen that number at the end of a week I would have been depressed but I would have believed in it; because I know that my grazing yesterday was at most 300 extra calories I know that the number this morning is a short term glitch and I'm not depressed. Much healthier - even if some people consider daily weigh ins excessive / obsessional.
The big deployment I've been banging on about is due this evening. My involvement is supposed to last from 7pm till 10pm. I'll be surprised if it doesn't drag on later than that - based on the chaotic situation all this week. Thankfully I have nothing important planned for this weekend, though I hope to walk at least 12 miles on at least one day, and if possible 10 - 12 on the other, weather, exhaustion and work permitting!
Today I worked from home having slept pretty badly last night - not exactly surprising since I'm not good at compartmentalising my life and I defy anyone to sleep well after spending a week swimming in adrenaline and cortisol from all the stress and rage. I didn't make it out for a pre-work walk as I was bogged down with a chore (paperwork) that really should have been done weeks ago. I did however go out at lunch, and again after work since I needed the time to recover my strength for this evening's overtime. In total about 6.2 miles.

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with mushrooms and leek
Lunch: cream of chicken soup
Dinner: salmon with pesto zoodles
Snacks: cheese

Thursday, 30 July 2015

IT sucks. Technology sucks. Bring back the abacus /pen & paper

The frustration at work continues...  My part of the deployment is going fine, but half the project was developed overseas and that half is holding us up - so annoying! Especially after all the frenetic activity on Tuesday trying to make up for lost time. And now they're also trying to get me to do their jobs for them....
6 ounces down this morning but I've been a little bit of a graze monster today so expect a change in the trend tomorrow...  (A temporary and short lived change...) unless the rage diet is actually a thing, I was tearing my hair out today and several colleagues pretended to be terrified of my wrath...

Food today:
Breakfast: poached eggs served over sautéed sweetheart cabbage
Lunch: Sainsburys ready cooked bacon and babybel cheese
Dinner: egg drop soup
Snacks: cheese

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

So busy. So tired.

I was Really Really busy at work all day today trying to make up for the time lost yesterday. Which I did, but only just. This deployment promises to be a nightmare - but hopefully a successful one. Hopefully.
I did manage to take my lunchtime walk - to be honest I was wondering if I should take the time, but decided it was better to get away from my desk and laptop for a proper break given that it had been such a stressful and busy morning. Involving the discovery of a last minute really obscure bug (not found by me - but that wasn't my fault) requiring an ad hoc fix that may yet come back to bite us. It usually does when something gets done in a panic. My stress levels were really helped by my realising it was TTOM again... Happily I wasn't driven to binge or drink, or even tempted in fact.
All the chaos in my head today meant I had no time for obsessing over food, diet or weightloss so that was a silver lining. I was down another 10oz this morning btw, which pleased me at the time but absolutely delighted me when I realised about TTOM. Wooo hoo - must have been the Rage diet. Hey, I wonder if the rage was partly pms? Maybe I'm not a closet homicidal maniac after all!

Food today:
Breakfast: strange gelatin shrimp salad that I made last night - designed for a 'fat fast'. The recipe intrigued me as a possible base for taking lunch to work that isn't too smelly. Its texture is not that appealing so when it's gone it's unlikely to reappear in my food diary
Lunch: should have been more of the gelatin salad but I went for Greek yogurt and Brazil nuts instead
Dinner: bacon and eggs
Snacks: macadamia nuts, cheese

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

The rage ..

No bloat / stomach ache today, yay! Also another 0.8lbs down. After reading a few websites yesterday I convinced myself I had - and probably always had had - IBS. But now it's gone so unless there's a recurrence I intend to forget and ignore - my favourite approach. I won't be drinking milk by the pint anymore due to the carbs, so if that's it I'll be all right anyway.
Today started sunny but chilly then went to overcast, dreary and chilly later. It's definitely summer.
I had a monumentally frustrating morning today being held up in my work by other people who had to do their jobs first so that I had something to test. At times like that I'm better off working from home so I can snarl, swear and call them names when they make things harder than they need to be. Unfortunately I was in the office and had to bottle it all up. This was not easy and I'm slightly surprised my head didn't explode as I wasn't venting the pressure. The reasonable part of my nature - the minority - kept pointing out that supporting my deployment was not in fact the only work they had to do. The rest of me stewed and stamped it's mental feet and basically threw a tantrum. Neither part of me in any way affected the outcome of anything. But the tantrum was more satisfying. If rage burns calories (and it feels like it should) I should be lbs lighter tomorrow... I really wanted to rampage screaming through the office throwing things.

I went for a walk at lunchtime on my own as my walking buddy was selfishly taking a vacation day. It was OK, but that cold wind I kept moaning about a month or two definitely seems to be back. As a result I found lots of things to do in the kitchen after work that didn't include going for a walk.

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with pate, red onion and tomato
Lunch: pork scratchings and egg fast vanilla custard
Dinner: Shirataki fettuccine Alfredo
Snacks: macadamia nuts, cheese

Monday, 27 July 2015


What a mixed weekend - Saturday I felt good, walked 10 miles, enjoyed the weather, ate a lot because of walking 10 miles....  I did make the mistake of drinking a pint of milk without checking the carbs, but entering my food and drink into myfitnesspal allowed me to adjust the rest of my intake to compensate. Saturday night some charming people living nearby let off fireworks in the middle of the night resulting in very little sleep for insomniac me.  Bastards. I don't want to live in the middle of nowhere except when I do...
Then yesterday I headed out earlyish hoping to fit in a decent walk before the forecast rain hit - that didn't happen. I tried to keep going but it was just dreary so I went home (swearing at the bloody British summer weather) and collapsed for a few hours. Later the rain eased off briefly and a made a dash for the shop. Between the two walks and a bit of marching on the spot back indoors I managed to get 10000 steps but it wasn't a fun 10000.
I managed not to feel suicidal over the weekend even with the weather yesterday and the accompanying frustration so that feels positive.
Something odd did happen yesterday though, and I'm not sure why. Around early evening I became aware of some stomach discomfort. Not TTOM style cramps, but a bloated feeling with some pain. And my stomach actually blew up like a balloon, I could feel it being swollen. It was slightly improved this morning but got worse after I foolishly ate lunch. So I'm guessing it was something I are, and trying to figure out what it might be. Possible culprits do include dairy though I've never previously been aware of a problem with dairy. I cooked lamb yesterday which I rarely do - again I haven't noticed a problem before, and I generally get lamb whenever we have a kebab, and often when we have a curry, it's one of my favourite meats oh please not the lamb not the lamb... Or the dairy, because I need cheese and yogurt in my life. Apart from that I ate coconut and macadamia nuts - ditto the no former problems. If it doesn't improve very quickly it's going to force me into a whole30 or other elimination diet and I'm still not sure that I'm up to that. Even with the swollen stomach I was still down another 0.4lbs from Friday (it was down 1.6lbs prior to the swollen stomach) Sadly and illogically it didn't rob my of my appetite. Around 3 pm it cleared completely, then came back after dinner. Doesn't feel too bad at the moment though.

This morning I woke up thinking I'm so glad it's not time to get up yet... and then the alarm went off. Never a good start to the day. It was grey, drizzling and depressing all day, probably just as well since I wasn't feeling like I should go for a walk in case my stomach exploded but given the weather I didn't care.

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with pate, red onion and tomato
Lunch: egg fast vanilla custard
Dinner: lamb with half an avocado and half a tomato
Snacks: macadamia nuts, cheese

Friday, 24 July 2015

Singing in the rain? Nope

What an unbelievably dreary day - wall to wall drizzle from about 7 am. I managed a pre-work walk - I thought it was worth the effort as it hadn't started raining at that point but the forecast was clear about how unappealing it would be later, and I worked from home so no 20 mile drive to work to fit in - and went back to the woods I shared with you yesterday. I didn't take any photos though as it was pretty gloomy, especially under the trees.
At lunchtime I tried something I've been meaning to try out as a rainy day alternative for a while - one of Lesley Sansone's Walk Away The Pounds workouts. I can't pretend it was as good as walking somewhere green and filled with birdsong (OK, and the sound of cars on a nearby A road) but it wasn't too hard on my back or neck and fitted neatly into my lunch break with enough left over to make lunch. However, since then I've had lower back pain - maybe I was favouring the places that previously hurt? And therefore walking funny? Or maybe I'm falling apart and should be put down... Despite the pain in my back I popped to the shop after work and when I got back I realised I'd done about 9600 steps - so, feeling rather daft, I marched on the spot again to get 10050 steps (5 miles) on the pedometer.

Another 1.8 lbs of water retention down this morning...

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with bacon and tomato
Lunch: pate omelette
Dinner: fat fast Shirataki mac n cheese 
Snacks: cheese, Pork scratchings

Thursday, 23 July 2015

Definitely looking up

Yesterday's horrific weigh in was improved by 3 lbs this morning - proving just how susceptible to bloat /inflammation /water retention I am when I eat (or drink) the wrong things. It's still not a number I'm happy with and I'm still determined to permanently change it for the better, but it was a boost even so.
My shoulder / neck soreness is improving though I can still feel it. The back pain is virtually gone - or maybe the neck thing is just distracting enough to mask it. I'm thinking - hoping - that I might be able to try getting on the climber next week if the improvement continues. It can be used as a stepper without arm involvement which might be more gentle on my back and neck until I know where I stand with it.
By the time I left work today I was starving and worried that I might be headed for a binge, so I went for a walk (and left my purse at home). I spent a little while - not long enough, but I will be going back - wandering around another Nature Reserve - a really nicely wooded area.

By the time I got home I'd walked just over 5 miles, and managed to distract the possible binge away (although I did still need to eat asap so I cooked as soon as I walked through the door.)  I also didn't have a drink, although I wanted to - but I think it does have a disproportionate effect on my weight loss efforts and I'm so very motivated right now... An early night (OK, really early!) is now about to happen, both for the health and diet benefits of more sleep and to keep me away from the kitchen (it is still calling me) Night everybody!

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with leek, cabbage and tomatoes with a plum
Lunch: egg fast pancakes with cheese and a small pot of Fage Total yogurt (full fat)
Dinner: bacon and eggs
Snacks: cheese