Thursday, 17 April 2014

I'm a bit... hic...pi**ed

After what could only be described as a slow motion binge yesterday (crap at lunchtime then more on the way home) I woke up this morning feeling like I never wanted to eat again (my body saying 'don't do this to me any more - if you can't eat real food don't bother at all' perhaps? So I skipped breakfast and had just a plum & some cashews for my morning snack. I'm not boasting here - I was quite literally completely uninterested in chocolate, or any of the other things I've been overdoing lately, so no willpower was required.
The hayfever has almost completely subsided - my nose still felt a bit stuffed but not runny and I wasn't sneezing any more either. Hurray for antihistamines!
But today wasn't all good - I got a phone call from the hospital this morning, apparently the surgeon who will be operating on my eye is not going to be there on the 22nd so my operation has been put back to the 29th. Just marvelous. I can't believe they booked me in for a surgery on a day that the guy wasn't actually physically in the hospital... Oh who am I kidding, I do believe it, and I also believe it's perfectly possible he decided to take a holiday after they booked it, and just told them to reschedule everybody. Soooo frustrating. I'm now equally scared of the op and desperate for it to be over so it's not hanging over me any more. I hate the f***ing NHS....

Food today:
Breakfast: none
Lunch: gammon salad
Dinner: sirloin steak with chips, mushroom, a few (very few) peas and half a tomato... Plus 3 beers!!!
Snacks: cashews & plum

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

sniff

Still being hammered by the pollen - not as sneezy but my nose has been flowing freely! As a result I stayed indoors at lunchtime to avoid re-exposing myself to any more pollen. By early afternoon I was feeling better, so I think the antihistamines are building up to useful levels and I hope they'll get things under control soon.
As I wasn't going out at lunch I entertained myself reading more eye surgery forums and had to stop because I was feeling rather unwell... I have decided not to watch the video of the surgery by the way - I think I'll be happier letting the whole thing just happen around my unconscious and unknowing head. Of course today I was reading a story about someone who woke up just as her surgery was supposed to start due to inadequate supplies of gas in the equipment... Also last night I had an anxiety dream (at least I got to sleep for long enough to dream) - it took a consistent format for me that recurs whenever I'm worried and makes no effort to reflect real life in terms of the situation worrying me. Basically it's always a dream about arriving at the airport to go on a fantastically expensive holiday only to realize I left my passport & tickets at home.... Then I spend the rest of the dream racing around madly trying to get the paperwork and return to the airport before the flight takes off. Yes, my brain focuses on incredibly trivial stuff when I sleep...

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with gammon, red onion & mushrooms
Lunch: soup
Dinner: Mexican pork chops with roasted Brussels sprouts
Snacks: cashew nuts and toasted coconut, and a truly enormous quantity of crap....

Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Achoo

Beautiful day today, with blue skies, sunshine... And high pollen count!!! I never had hayfever until I was 16, and 3 or 4 years later it stopped again - but now it's back. I don't know if it's a side effect of all the pollution that blew over this way the other week, but I can't say I'm particularly happy to be sniffling & sneezing my way through the day. Because it's been clear for so long it never occurred to me to take an antihistamine before work - or bring them to work - even though M has hayfever for the first time in 3 or 4 years as well. So irritating! 
At lunchtime I popped to the nearest pharmacy to buy some antihistamines and then fled back indoors as quickly as possible to give them a chance to work. So no walk at lunch today (mind you I had time to make up from yesterday so needed to cut my lunchbreak short anyway). Annoyingly the antihistamines stopped me sneezing but did very little for my runny nose, leaving me with an antisocial sniffle for the afternoon.
I still walked 2 miles today, but couldn't force myself to do more given the high pollen count. 

Confession time:
I'm eating lots of crap just now. I wouldn't call it comfort eating so much as distraction eating... I'm really worried about my op and the healing process, I've never been operated on before or under general anaesthetic and since birth have only spent one night in hospital - observation when I had a kidney infection years ago - so I'm pretty scared to be honest. I'm cutting myself some slack right now because I don't have the energy to worry about diet as well. So no food diary today...

Monday, 14 April 2014

I have a date....

I had my pre op assessment this morning. I basically worked from home for about an hour and a half, then headed for the train station to get into Reading for 9. The appointment was dead on time amazingly - possibly because it was so early - and the staff nurse was very nice even if she did have to ask me my age and weigh me - two of my not favourite things these days.
The op is booked for the afternoon of April 22nd - a week away in other words. I can have breakfast so long as I eat before 7:30, then nothing but water, black tea, or black coffee as it will be done under general anaesthetic. So long as there are no complications I should be allowed home the same day, around 7pm.
Due to my appointment I walked about 4 miles, and came home to finish the day working from home. If you glance at the food diary below you will see that I comforted myself after my appointment with a very indulgent treat from one of Reading's independent coffee shops. I did stay gf and don't feel any guilt / regret about it.
The weekend was pretty uneventful btw. I wanted to take it easy and just chill out, so I didn't do much - fairly short walks, a bit of grocery shopping,some time out in the garden in the sun yesterday (barbecuing dinner). It was nice, and I did feel relaxed most of the time anyway.

Food today:
Breakfast: Barbecued pork chop and large slice of gf chocolate cake
Lunch: soup
Dinner: chicken & veg topped with homemade pesto
Snacks: some roast gammon

Friday, 11 April 2014

Back again


Well, on Wednesday night I was felled by a migraine, so no post. Thursday morning I was still suffering from the headache along with nausea & dizziness, so no work or post. I did work from home in the afternoon when the drugs finally took effect (or maybe the sugar... I always crave sugary foods before & during migraines and yesterday I wallowed in them)
I slept quite well last night - over 8 hrs for a change! - and feel much better today, so I did make it in to the office and managed to walk 2 miles as usual (yesterday I still walked almost that as I had to go into town for more drugs - a painful experience with a migraine since it was a beautiful sunny day that would normally have made me very happy)

You'll notice below that I'm not cutting out nuts any more. This is because after several days of replacing healthy (in moderation) delicious raw cashews with less healthy snacks... (even on one occasion a Mars bar!!!! And several spoonfuls of peanut butter) I decided to stick with the lesser evil. So small snackpacks of cashews are back on the menu.

In other news, the eye hospital called me at lunchtime. I have my pre op appointment on Monday at 9am. So now that they have been reminded of my existence it looks like they're trying to squeeze in under the 2 months estimate he gave me.

Food today:
Breakfast: Pear, fennel & sage breakfast sausage with cherry tomatoes, hard boiled egg & sauerkraut
Lunch: gammon & salad
Dinner: turkey stirfry
Snacks: toasted coconut flakes, cashews

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Not the best day. Not the worst either

Walked 2 miles
Ate peanut butter & chocolate & almonds (ground, in a raw soup)
Was not low carb or grain free (but was gluten free)
I was hungry most of the day, and grazed all day (TTOM) but despite the evidence below didn't go into binge mode (desperately cramming as much food as possible down in the shortest possible time)- my overeating took all day

Food today:
Breakfast: Pear, fennel & sage breakfast sausage with cherry tomatoes
Lunch: raw soup - Ani's 15 day fat blast Kreamy dill delight. My first raw soup containing broccoli. (the recipe also contains cashews, I subbed in ground almonds as I have a large bag in the freezer.) followed by natural yoghurt & blueberries
Dinner: fried rice with chicken & ham
Supper: peanut butter straight from the jar
Snacks: toasted coconut flakes, small bag of minstrels, pork scratchings

Monday, 7 April 2014

No nuts today

It is hard for me... Not eating nuts. They tend to be my go to snack, but also of course a bit of a binge trigger when I'm that way inclined, and so energy dense...
But they taste good and are crunchy and there aren't enough crunchy foods in the lower carb world. Still, today is day one of trying to break my cashew nut addiction. I left them off my weekend big shop shopping list, and now I'm a cold turkey.
Today was a lousy day (in terms of weather, not nut withdrawal). Rain. Rain. And more rain. I managed 2 damp miles, but couldn't force myself to add another 2 at lunchtime :-( It was disappointing but at the weekend I did approx 5 miles a day despite yesterday also being rubbish so I don't mind too much - I'm still building my distances back up.  The weekend was quite good for food (including nuts) and walking, but did involve a few beers, so not perfect. Also I watched Thor - The Dark World. They smashed up Greenwich, where I spent part of my last day in London, and I always enjoy movies that come with built in 'I've been there'. The less good part of that was that the movie was in 3D - and after watching it I developed a bad headache. The same thing happened the weekend before, when we watched 2 3D movies - after both movies. Apparently it's quite common for 3D movies to cause headaches in people with a range of conditions affecting their eyes, including retinal detachment. So much so that a few sites on the web suggest headaches after 3D movies are actually a warning sign that you should get your eyes tested in case of problems. Annoyingly I've been prioritizing 3D movies on my Lovefilm list to watch them before my surgery as afterwards I simply won't be able to see the 3D for a short time while healing. Ah well. In the grand scheme of possible undesired consequences of this problem of mine, having to watch movies & TV in 2D isn't going to make the top 1000.

Food today:
Breakfast: Eggs scrambled with gammon & tomato
Lunch: raw soup - Ani's 15 day fat blast tomato bisque - with some cold meat
Dinner: lambs liver & onions with cheesy cauliflower mash
Snacks: toasted coconut flakes, homemade meatballs