Thursday, 2 July 2015

Some good news!

Supposedly it's cooler today but it still fits into the too damn hot range on my thermometer.
I worked from home this morning (as you know if you stopped by yesterday) ready for my trip to the hospital this afternoon. And as I was already working from home I took the opportunity to also get our letting agents call out a plumber to deal with an issue in our rental house. Between 9 and 12 I was told - 3 guesses if he showed up? So guess who's going to need to work from home again tomorrow morning? Sigh.
I managed to find a way to work standing up for a couple of hours this morning by balancing my laptop on the back of a chair. It wasn't the perfect height but it was close - and that was the most comfortable I've felt while working for 3 or 4 weeks now. I guess I'll be trying that again tomorrow.
I headed out for the train around 1:30 and roughly the minute I left the house - well, actually, at the point where I no longer had time to go back for my umbrella without missing my train - it started raining. Just a very light shower luckily, and quite refreshing.
I got to the hospital stupidly early as always (I swear they check the train times before booking my appointments to guarantee I always arrive at least 20 minutes early) and then...  Of course...  The waiting began.
Actually although it felt like an age - because of the agonising back pain from the only chairs more uncomfortable than those in my office,  combined with the sunlight hitting my helpless dilated pupils - I only waited an hour past my appointment time on this visit, and as I was told that some of the delay was down to an emergency operation I don't find that as annoying as usual. I had a vision check, drops, a pressure check, a scan... and I'm happy to say that they confirmed what I knew, that the injection is helping!  He showed me a before and after picture of my retina and it was positively striking how the swelling had gone down! And happily without increasing the pressure in the eye either - it was the same as the other eye, and firmly in the normal range.

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with pate, red onion and tomato
Lunch:egg mayo with avocado
Dinner: a kebab, no Bread but I confess I had garlic mayo on it and a few chips with it - I was feeling a bit emotional. I think tomorrow I will start another whole 30 by way of a detox
Snacks: pistachio nuts

Wednesday, 1 July 2015


22 degrees at 6:20 AM??? Good god. Actually it was lovely outside this morning - after I drove to work I sat in the sun instead of staying in the car and it was lovely. The problem was indoors, where yesterday's heat was still trapped and I felt in need of a shower as soon as I got out of the shower...
At lunchtime I persisted in going out for a walk despite the heat. I thought I'd come prepared by bringing a second t-shirt and a pair of shorts to change into - however I should have also brought a second bra and some Deodorant possibly. I did have a wash when I came back and changed. I walked about 3.5 miles along the Kennet and Avon canal and most of the way it was overcast though hot and humid; about a mile from the end the sun came out and it got even hotter. As always my back felt so much better while I walked that I really didn't want to stop even though I was walking alone. By the time I did go back my hair was wet too. According to the BBC the temperature hit 35 degrees as I left work. Sorry, that really is just uncivilised...  My car had to work its ass off to cool down the interior - and the steering wheel - to tolerable levels. Then when I got home - planning not to move outside the front door again today - I realised I needed to pop out to the shop down the road. I felt like I was swimming down the road it was so humid and heavy. I don't want rain tomorrow as I have to go to the hospital for my check up (6 miles of walking all told) but a bit cooler would be really nice. In fact, more than nice - the hospital is always baking hot so God only knows what it will be like when the weather's hot as well.
I've been feeling really quite down today and I've realised it's because I have been a bit sleep deprived the last couple of nights. I have a fan blowing on me all night which just about manages to slightly alleviate the suffering, but between back pain, heat, and the unaccustomed noise of the fan it's not surprising I don't seem to be sleeping very deeply or enjoying the full sleep cycle. Tonight I'm taking a Nytol because I want to be better rested for my appointment tomorrow (I'm trying not to take too many of them since my mum told me she'd read a story in the paper about it causing memory loss - thanks Mum :-(  ) At least I didn't binge - or even over eat - as I grumpily stomped and shuffled through the day.

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with defrosted grilled vegetables mixed in - field mushroom, red onion, yellow pepper and a small amount of courgette.
Lunch: homemade onion soup
Dinner: Pork chop (chilli lime pork strips) with 'hash' of sautéed turnip, shallot, pepper and courgette
Snacks: bratwurst and cucumber slices

Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Bloody hell it's been hot today.

I went for a lunchtime walk but I felt guilty afterwards as I was back in the office today and I did get a bit sweaty. We probably walked a little fast for such a warm day, especially as I was wearing jeans rather than dressing for the weather.
I was feeling really down this morning - a combination of the never ending back ache, the (predictably) horrible morning weigh in, and just not being rich enough or thin enough. {Miraculously I didn't console myself with the box of 24 peanut butter kit kats one of my colleagues brought in and placed on a nearby desk in full view of me.  In fact I didn't eat any of them, or the biscuits someone else brought in... Honestly, the humble office is kind of a mine field some days)  Even though it was too hot, my walk did help cheer me up a bit and the afternoon was less miserable as a result. After work I tried to take another walk but it was just too hot to enjoy - it was about 31 degrees, and my preference is low to mid 20s... I nearly melted in the kitchen as I had foolishly planned a meal that included homemade oven chips for M on the hottest day of the year so far...
M and I were a pair of old crocks this evening. He had a sore and stiff neck and I of course was still feeling sorry for myself re the back...

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs
Lunch: homemade cream of broccoli soup
Dinner: Low carb Korean bbq chicken with grilled broccoli and green beans (plus one glass of red wine)
Snacks: hard boiled egg, homemade lamb sausage

Monday, 29 June 2015

Binge free day

Much much much better day today.
No binge and very little snacking, plus I walked nearly 6 miles.
I worked from home because my back is still betraying me. I would have had to travel by train because my car was having a little work done, but the idea of walking over 3 miles with my rucksack and laptop when I already have back pain... Not a good idea I felt. So I walked at every opportunity to warm up my muscles (not carrying any weight, to avoid exacerbating things) and spent the rest of the day propped up on pillows relaxing. Only needed one set of painkillers rather than the usual 3,so it really did help.

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs
Lunch: homemade blue cheese and celery soup
Dinner: Low carb slow cooker 'chicken vindaloo'  with grilled green beans
Snacks: homemade lamb sausage; small amount of baked gammon; tiny bit of peanut butter


What a weekend
Is it still called a binge if it lasts a couple of DAYS rather than hours?
I went insane and literally ate thousands of excess calories at the weekend - including tons of chocolate and even a lot of (non gluten free) bread. Even a Subway! (footlong)
Sugar? Yep. Wheat? Yep. Oats? Yep. Ice Cream? Yep.
By last night my stomach felt like I swallowed a beach ball. No - a bouncy castle.
I don't know why it happened, I'm going to guess most people reading this will be saying things like 'too restrictive normally' and 'everything in moderation', but everything in moderation was what I was trying to do when I used to binge like that at least once or twice a week, so I can't hear you...  This probably hurt more than it would have then simply because it is so much rarer, a fact that I'm clinging to with all my strength right now.
I think I was down because of the constant back pain and the plateau I was on (until I decided to gain weight if I couldn't lose it) and being tired and so on and so on...

On the plus side I did also walk quite a bit - nearly 6 miles on Saturday and over 8 miles on Sunday. Of course I was walking from shop to shop to buy crap to eat while I walked, but hey, calories eaten while you walk don't count, everyone knows that...

Thursday, 25 June 2015

Sigh. Again.

My back hurts. Again. So I am grumpy. Again.
And also I woke up at 2am and stayed awake. So I am entitled to be grumpy I think. Although the kind words and virtual hugs of Rachel and Joy did make me feel better!

No binge today!  (I did not weigh myself this morning - didn't need the depression. I have decided to consider yesterday a 'carb refeed' day, ignoring the extremely unhealthy specific foods that I abused myself with, and therefore not feel guilty for bingeing. I've been on a plateau lately so I have an excuse to shake things up a bit anyway)
I'm taking the train to work while my car gets a bit of work done so I started the day walking to the station (1.7 miles) in the sunshine and then spent the train journey chatting to a colleague - quite a pleasant start really though I doubt if carrying my work laptop to the station is doing my back much good (it's an antique - like a brick). I also walked at lunchtime - alone sadly, but I got a couple of miles in  - and of course had to walk back from the station after work as well, for a total of 7.96 miles, which can't be bad on top of a full day at work! I took a long way back to shop down the road, and regretted it at the time as the sweat ran down my neck (I actually felt a little crappy) That was before I checked my pedometer though, if I'd checked it at the time I would have scraped together another 0.04 miles just to round things off.
Now I am shattered. It may seem embarrassingly early to most (normal) people, but hey - up since 2, remember? Bedtime for me now!

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with a little leftover cooked chicken
Lunch: sausage, spinach and feta frittata with kimchi
Dinner: stewed oxtail with broccoli, leek, cauliflower & cabbage
Snacks: cheese, pork scratchings

Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Bummer. Bugger!

My back hurts. Again. So I am grumpy. Again.
So I ate crisps and chocolate because everyone knows that crisps and chocolate cure back pain and grumpiness. Especially when it develops into a fill on binge. (It developed into a full on binge)
I walked at lunchtime - it was the only hour all through the working day my back didn't ache. The rest of the day I spent waiting till I could take more painkillers (which barely took the edge off)
I walked again after work and it helped too. So a relatively active day but not productive and quite the downer.

Food today:
Breakfast: hardboiled egg and salad
Lunch: cream cheese pancakes
Dinner: chicken soup
Snacks: cheese, crisps, chocolate