Friday, 28 August 2015

A mixed day

I worked from home today through a combination of back pain and really not wanting to spend time in the bank holiday traffic chaos.
Of course that meant being able to fit in 3 walks (unburdened by any weight in terms of back packs or hand bags) for a total of 9 miles. But one annoyance there - the first two, as usual, felt good - no back pain - but on the third one it did hurt, so I guess I overdid it a bit. Tomorrow morning I plan a longish walk but with listening to my body that may change or adapt.
Today was also the last working day for one of my favourite colleagues. I have to admit that although I don't like working in IT most of the time it's often the people who make up for that - and a lot of the people there I like are leaving / have left. It doesn't make going to work more appealing as a concept or more enjoyable as a reality. Particularly as my walking buddy is on holiday for a week and my all time favourite colleague is away for 2 weeks. You can expect more and more whinging about my job for a bit I think! Sorry in advance...
I got an unexpected letter from the Royal Berkshire Hospital today. It said it was rescheduling my next check up from Sept 3rd to September 17th - at my request. Here's the thing - I did NOT request that.  At all,  ever. My theory is one or more of the consultants decided to take a week off and I got bumped. I'm not particularly impressed, but it doesn't make a massive difference in real terms - it's just all of a piece with the many examples I've banged on about on here of how inconsiderate the whole organisation is towards its patients. I would be very happy to be discharged and never have to go back there again...
Some good news, my arm didn't fall off / bleed excessively or hurt in any way once the local anaesthetic wore off,  so that's good to know.

ETA :a definite victory!  No Friday evening treat / consolation / comfort booze for me!  I can't say I wasn't tempted, but it was a mild and easily resisted urge :-)
Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with gf soda bread
Lunch: Chicken thigh with broccoli
Dinner: belly pork slices with green beans
Snacks: cheese, sugar free jelly

Thursday, 27 August 2015

You know you're struggling when lunchtime is 10:41 AM....

I don't know for sure if it was boredom or hunger that forced me to eat so early but I strongly suspect it was genuinely hunger because otherwise I would have just carried on eating all the food, which in my case (even avoiding junk food) would have decimated the net of mixed babybels I brought in for snackage. I was just really hungry all morning (and angry at the weather) and couldn't find the strength to wait it out. I drink gallons of fluids all day when in the office so it wasn't thirst - especially as I added a mug of beef oxo without feeling any better. Ah well, I actually consider it a victory when all I do is eat scheduled foods at unscheduled times.
Midmorning today I saw sunshine and was almost excited to walk at lunchtime even though I was walking alone. I left the office and I thought I felt a raindrop hit my head but told myself I was imagining it because the forecast said no rain between 8am and 6pm. The forecast lied. By the time I'd crossed the first road it was definitely raining and since I had believed the forecast enough to leave both rain coat and umbrella behind, I ended up turning around and heading back in to the office. The Met Office lied to me and I want my money back!  (what money? No idea...)
I was heading out to buy some more rooibos tea bags because I'd actually run out. I have some at home and forgot to pack them for work on 3 consecutive days. Hold on a minute...  Right, they're now packed. Finally. I also wanted to walk so I could earn some extra calories in case I got hungry again mid afternoon. Since I didn't, I had to power through. On the plus side, I powered through with only one excess babybel cheese.
I went to the doctors again this evening and got a Nexplanon implant inserted in my arm. Here's hoping it sorts out some of the issues I've been having around TTOM... of course it also could make that worse, in which case it's coming back out, but I prefer to believe it will work like a charm protecting me for the next 3 years.

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with homemade sausage
Lunch: flourless cream cheese pancakes (savoury) with philadelphia cream cheese
Dinner: Rump steak with garlic green beans
Snacks: cheese

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Did I pass out and sleep till November?

In the middle of the night I had to drag a duvet out of the cupboard instead of just sleeping under the empty cover. I only did that twice throughout the winter - and unless I'm mistaken, it's still August - right?
I was depressed about that before I even got out of bed, so when it got light enough to see how wet and windy it was I wasn't even surprised...  I'm not entirely sure how I stopped myself getting back into bed for the day though, and sell day in the office I was wishing I had. Working in bed under that duvet would have been cozy at least, no more boring and not much more lonely as people on holiday / sick / working from home mean I'm sitting pretty much on my own at the moment. It probably isn't personal... right? Probably...

I did go for a walk at lunchtime despite the early hideousness. After yesterday I took some precautions - I wore a skirt and nylons instead of jeans so that if I got drenched I could just remove the nylons and dry off. It would have been much more comfortable all afternoon - except today turned out the opposite of yesterday and the weather actually cleared by lunchtime. Literally it was still pouring at 11:40 and 10 minutes later it was almost stopped. By the time I was ready to head out just after 12 it had stopped altogether and we weren't rained on at all. So I was able to enjoy walking with 2 of my favourite colleagues (one of whom is leaving the company on Friday :-( )
I'm pissed off (excuse my French) with the train strike this weekend. I was planning to use the trains to visit my mother and brother over the long weekend; now I'll probably end up cramming a visit in the following weekend and have to cut it short so I can do all the tedious back to work tomorrow crap like make lunches and do laundry. Selfish bastards.


Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with pate, a cherry tomato and a little onion
Lunch: egg, avocado and bacon mayo
Dinner: Pork chop with mushrooms cooked with soft cheese
Snacks: Pork scratchings

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

What revolting weather...

I hoped the forecast (of heavy rain most of the day) was wrong because very first thing it was a beautiful if chilly morning. Wrong!  Almost dead on 12 - exactly as I was walking towards the door to go for a walk - it started raining 'a bit'. I was going with my walking buddy and we had the obligatory discussion about whether we wanted to risk it, before deciding to give it a shot. At my usual turning back point (Co op) it was still just drizzling so I carried on. Which is of course when it started getting harder and harder. I looked like I'd swum to Sainsburys by the time I got back - and although I'd been wearing a waterproof jacket, my jeaned legs were not covered, so I spent the afternoon with the denim clinging revoltingly to my thighs. I tried hard to blame my walking buddy but it was self inflicted really, I can't deny it... I was glad about going out anyway, apart from whenever I felt how cold and clammy my legs were.
On other fronts things are still going quite well  - I had a definite urge to lunge at the peanut butter jar this evening and didn't give in to it. Someone brought sweets in to the office and I wasn't even interested /tempted - so no resistance needed. I've been reading up more on keto diets (also so-called zero carb diets) and I'm considering whether to go that hard core in an attempt to really destroy my sweet cravings. Haven't decided yet, more reading needed - and a lot more planning if I decide to try it out for a few months.

Food today:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs with mushrooms and leek
Lunch: broccoli soup
Dinner: chicken salad
Snacks: cheese,  Pork scratchings

Monday, 24 August 2015

Sorry I'm so dull...

My life is feeling exceptionally tedious at the moment, hence no Friday post and nearly no Monday post. But I do feel like something is missing if I don't post, do I guess I'll just have to apologise in advance for being so boring.
Friday I worked from home with an upset tummy and yet still managed to walk about 7 miles - endlessly repeated circuits around my house so I didn't have too far to travel back if needed. It settled down by lunchtime but I wasn't trusting it until evening. I have to confess I had some vodka that evening as I'd been feeling sorry for myself.
Saturday I went for a 10 mile walk (nearly) to make the most of the weather before it went to crap. Yesterday I hardly left the house because it was either pouring with rain or threatening to. all day. I spent most of the time lying on the bed reading - I'm reading obsessively at the moment anyway.
The only inspiring thing I did at the weekend was try out a recipe for gluten free soda bread using coconut flour that turned out so well I made it again Sunday, adapted by replacing the coconut flour with twice the volume of almond flour. It might be the best gluten free bread recipe I've tried, particularly as it's also incredibly simple.

Today I worked from home again so I could go to the doctor this afternoon. It was raining pretty constantly all morning but I had to go out for some dishwasher tablets (see what I mean about my exciting life?) so I walked to Tesco and much as I wouldn't have chosen to go out in the rain if I hadn't needed anything, I was glad I did. Between that,  popping to the surgery, and walking around the house I actually managed to get 10147 steps - not particularly impressive but I do feel happier if I at least manage 10000 steps.
I've been using the techniques in Brain vs Binge this weekend.  I have got into the habit of drinking at the weekend and don't want to. Also if I have a drink on Friday I generally do at least on Saturday and often Sunday too. It didn't actually occur to me how habitual that was getting until Saturday, which is why I still drank Friday night, but that was all I had - and I successfully resisted that habitual urge. I didn't really feel less relaxed either, as walking and reading are far more effective means of relaxing. And in case you were wondering if I didn't post Friday due to a binge - I haven't done that either. So far so good....

Food today:
Breakfast: soft boiled eggs with gf soda bread soldiers
Lunch: broccoli soup with a chicken drumstick
Dinner: chicken thigh with green beans and keto Alfredo Sauce
Snacks: cheese and gammon nibbles

Thursday, 20 August 2015

One thing after another

After a fairly dull morning waiting for a new release (and raising a bug that fixed itself seconds after I told everyone about it) I went for a walk while the new release was being deployed. Then came back from the walk, and started feeling really crappy - run down, heavy (in the gravitational sense), thick headed, headachy, nauseated and generally naff.
This didn't stop me instantly discovering a supercritical bug in the new release, but did lead to me spending some considerable time hiding in the bathroom so no-one could talk to me or see me looking grey in the face (I probably wasn't really, but that's how I felt)
Still not feeling great after work, I carefully drove home with cold air blasting me in the face, got undressed and lay around in front of the TV all evening.

Food today:
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with a tiny beef 'sizzle steak' and a quarter of an avocado
Lunch: chili lime chicken drumstick with salad
Dinner: a chunk of smoked sausage to see if eating would settle my stomach - not so much.
Snacks: cheese

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

Moving on

Well, after feeling bloated most of yesterday I don't feel bad today - and do feel remotivated (is that a word? It is now) so no off plan foods at all today. (by which I mean not that I ate perfectly, just that I didn't eat anything that doesn't belong on a low carb diet plan)

The book I'm reading about bingeing is called Brain over Binge by Kathryn Hansen and it is very interesting. Unlike most self help books she doesn't believe that the behaviour you want to change needs loads of introspective over-analysis of its root cause. (which is good for me because I don't believe my tendency to overeat or binge is caused by a traumatic event when I was 3) She thinks the urge to binge is actually born from dieting and starts off as the brain's survival instincts encouraging overeating as a response to apparent famine, which I can definitely relate to - I never binged until sometime into my last successful attempt at weight loss through calorie counting when I was trying to get to a weight lower than I now think was really good for me (my face definitely looked gaunt and, as a result, older). She offers a very simple approach which I won't go in to since I don't want to be sued for copyright infringement / plagiarism / just being plain inconsiderate given that she put a lot of time and work into writing the book, but suffice it to say I'll be trying to follow her suggestions to see if I respond well to them. Fingers crossed!

I tried to go for a walk at lunchtime but the weather was against me - it started raining right on cue and I ended up cutting it very short. It was especially disappointing as I was really feeling the need to get away from my desk. I did pop to the nearest convenience store but that's less than half a mile round trip. I am still going upstairs to the bathroom at work instead of going to the closest one on my own floor but that's the only exercise I got today as it was pouring again by the time I left work.
I guess that's a British summer for you...

Food today:
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with mushrooms and leek
Lunch: smoked sausage and cheese with salad
Dinner: Shirataki Alfredo
Snacks: Sugar free jelly 'fat bombs', almonds