Thursday, 20 November 2014

Aaarrgghhhh

 I twisted my back this morning and spent the morning feeling like something had ripped.  I don't think it has, and once I took some painkillers it improved immensely,  but it made me very grouchy all morning. VERY GROUCHY.
Some people might question how different that is from every other morning, but they're wrong and cheeky to boot. 
My morning was extremely frustrating as I struggled to get one of the company's applications to work - then after lunch I realised I'd been making a small but fundamental mistake and like magic it worked (for a specific given value of 'worked' - if it actually worked I wouldn't have been trying to get it ready for testing a bug fix all morning). So annoying that it took so long though - and that it turned out to be my own fault I suppose. At least I got to feel some belated sense of achievement today... 
I didn't train (see above) or walk properly today,  but I did have to go out for an errand at lunchtime so there was no opportunity to hide behind apathy and avoid the shops.  I bought a somewhat too large bag of cashews and ate them all - but didn't buy anything else so it didn't turn into a binge,  which makes me reasonably happy given my foul mood all morning.  And no booze either, not even medicinal. Although I was tempted. I might not be able to follow all my rules at once right now,  but some of them some of the time is a starting point anyway. Right? 

Food today :
Breakfast: bacon, mayo & hardboiled egg salad 
Lunch: carrot & sweet potato soup   
Dinner: carolina style chicken drumsticks with caesar salad 
Snacks: cashews, fruit 

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Can apathy be a tool...???

I've felt horribly unmotivated all day today - to do anything whatsoever. I didn't train as I'm not yet completely pain free (I generally feel good in the morning after a night in a comfy bed then the pain returns during the day - but it is arriving later and less intensely every day) I didn't feel like going out at lunchtime and for once had no errands to run,  so I didn't set foot outside the building.  
The silver lining,  if it can be described that way, is that I also felt no drive to binge, so I didn't. I also avoided sweet tasting food/drinks and all booze today - whether it's down to resolution or apathy I guess that's all good! You'll notice that my snack today wasn't the healthiest of choices,  but for some reason I forgot completely to pack a snack today and that was the only non-sweet option in the office vending machine - so it was the healthiest of all available evils.

Food today :
Breakfast: bacon, broccoli & leek scrambled eggs 
Lunch: carrot & sweet potato soup   
Dinner: grilled pork chop and broccoli 
Snacks: bag of crisps

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Recovering...?

Much more myself today - no binge,  although I did replace the healthy homemade soup I planned to have for lunch with something less healthy (and a slightly weird combination).  But I'm pleased I replaced it rather than eating both.
I woke up this morning quite tired despite sleeping reasonably well but very relaxed and completely pain free! The pain free thing sadly didn't last once I got up,  but was still many orders of magnitude better than it has been; the tired thing lasted all day despite heroic quantities of coffee and even half a litre of Pepsi max.
Still,  no resorting to hot baths today,  although I might have if I hadn't had a crap drive home that took twice as long as it should have. Tomorrow it's my plan to get the food and drink part of my plan back into action - if I'm really lucky the training too,  though it seems unlikely at the moment. Wish me luck...

Food today :
Breakfast: bacon, mushroom & leek scrambled eggs
Lunch: a homemade beef chorizo burger & bag of crisps and a small pot of natural yogurt
Dinner: steamed salmon and broccoli
Snacks: fruit

Monday, 17 November 2014

I suck

So, I have finally dropped my impression of a turtle,  stuck my head back out of my shell - and I'm back!  
The last few days sucked massively - I forgot all my good intentions, I binged Thursday & Friday,  over-ate and drank Saturday & Sunday, and have a strange, completely inexplicable headache today. It must be something I ate. 
On the plus side after not training and literally not leaving the house all weekend, including Friday, I am almost pain-free most of the time and will be back to try out my new training strategy very soon I hope. The self-pitying depression is wearing off and so is the desire to binge on crap (wearing off, not worn off) , and I'm feeling almost human again. Despite the truly awful weather I had to drive through to the office this morning. And walk in to the post office at lunchtime. It more or less stopped by the time I drove home,  but by then a day in the office had taken its toll and all I was good for was my 708709th bath in the last few days...

So, while I've been living on the sofa / in the bath for a few days what's been happening in the real world?

Food today :
Breakfast: bacon, mushrooms & leek scrambled eggs 
Lunch: carrot & sweet potato soup
Dinner: cold beef brisket with a big kale salad 
Snacks: cashews...  And chocolate 

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Pain stopped play

Can we just agree to pretend today never happened? OK? 
Why do I ever post that I'm on a roll / doing well/making progress? Every time I do, every single time I do, something instantly goes wrong. So, I had some pain yesterday which led to my taking the very relaxing bath after work; I felt better after that but this morning the effect had worn off so I replaced training with another bath. I was whingeing to M when I got out and he suggested I change my 'form' on the climber - my stance and the length of my stride - to see if it helps.  Seems like a good idea, so I'll be trying that when I start up again. It is a very repetitive movement so if it causes any repeated strain or friction that will build up. It would explain why activity that should be improving my strength & fitness keeps having seemingly the opposite effect... 
So, I'm grumpy about missing training /having pain but I suppose slightly cheered by having something to work on when I get back into it (and the changes I'll be making will make me work harder,  at least in the beginning, which is good...) 
Especially after the cr@pfest that was today. 

I binged.  Because nothing about a day of enforced idleness and discomfort can't be fixed with thousands of extra calories.  Oh, wait... 

Food today :
Breakfast: bacon, mushrooms & leek scrambled eggs 
Lunch: Roast chicken and salad 
Dinner: Takeaway lamb sagwala with boiled rice
Snacks: Don't ask. Won't tell. 

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

I train, therefore I am

Yes,  I trained this morning and now it does feel like that's just what I do. 
That is, of course, a lie. Or more politely,  what is often known as fake it till you make it.  I'm still at the fake it stage. 
I woke up early,  not sure how early as I was wearing an eye mask and refusing to look at the clock, and spent an unknown eternity praying that it was not yet 4am so I had plenty of time to stay lying there.  Then the alarm went off and I may have used a bad word. But I did get up and train so does it matter if I didn't want to? 
More grotty weather today so I didn't go for a walk, it just wasn't appealing. Instead I took a hot bath when I got home after work - so so relaxing. 

Food today :
Breakfast: bacon, mushrooms & leek scrambled eggs 
Lunch: Roast chicken and salad 
Dinner: chicken thighs with braised savoy cabbage from the Memorie di Angelina blog
Snacks: cashews and a small pot of natural yogurt 

Monday, 10 November 2014

Ding dong

Less of an unqualified success this weekend - but for a reason, not just due to losing the will. I did reduce my exercise as I planned in order to rest my back - stayed off the climber altogether and only walked a couple of miles each day.  On Saturday I also stuck to all my new rules,  but on Sunday I admit I did drink two tiny little pints of beer and fall face first into a mountain of cashew nuts as a result.  You see, M sold his motorbike yesterday and as I may have mentioned one or a million times, the minute he brought it home I started waiting for it to kill him - so seeing it leave while he remained alive called for a celebration!  And a little happy dance in the kitchen,  accompanied by a totally tuneless rendition of an improvised song entitled 'the bike is gone' and loosely set to the music for 'ding dong the witch is dead' from the Wizard of Oz.

I was pleased.

This morning it was right back to normal with the crawling bleary eyed from bed at 4:30 and the staggering semi-conscious on to the climber.  By the time I fully woke up I'd completed my 40 minutes and made a cup of coffee. 
After work I managed a couple of miles walking as well, so that felt really good!
I did OK with the food, stayed clear of the booze, avoided the fizzy drinks...  All good!  (I'd like to be in a place where all of that sounds just normal rather than cause for bragging... maybe some day...) 

Food today :
Breakfast: bacon, mushrooms & leek scrambled eggs 
Lunch: homemade carrot & coriander soup 
Dinner: a kind-of Bolognese influenced meat sauce made with pork mince over steamed sweetheart cabbage 'spaghetti'.  Cabbagetti? Spagagge? Snacks: cashews (now buying smaller snack packs - excepting celebrations I'm happy with WHAT I'm eating but need to work on how much of it I'm eating... ) and pork scratchings